One of my faults is that I’m a perfectionist, and as they say, “perfection is the enemy of progress.” I hate failing, and I hate losing, and I hate giving up. In January of 2018, I suffered a major heartbreak and, not saying my ex didn’t have his flaws too, I really had to be honest with myself about how I could have been a better partner.
Although that big panty self-reflection was a necessary part of my personal growth, it was being done in social isolation and it was leading me down a rabbit hole of low self-esteem. I felt like a total failure for being what I thought was the worst girlfriend ever.
I was allowing myself to be overwhelmed by self-criticism and this was keeping me stuck in a cycle of self pity and self loathing. Rather, I should have been embracing my shortcomings in a holistic approach to self-improvement. The question should not have been so much about how I could have saved that relationship (because who knows if that was even possible), but how could I have been healthier, happier, and more fit to sustain a significant relationship with the RIGHT partner.
Now, I am in a place where I have accepted that I’m not perfect and that’s okay. I am looking to improve the things about myself that I can change and I’m learning to embrace those things I can’t. I have come to realize that being honest about who you are, and your limitations, is important to building healthy relationships.
Now I incorporate techniques to address the areas in which I seek personal growth. I invest in cultivating a supportive social circle. Most importantly, I acknowledged that there are some things about myself that I don’t want to change and that’s OK too.