Shapeless Sorrows: Exploring the Poetic Depths of Sadness

Mountain’s Peak

falling

deep into the abyss

heartaches

breaks

pain swells

draw from the well

power within

light that blinds

brings me tonight

cold and void

picking up pieces

of my soul

away to rain

washing the wounds

beauty revealed

alas I see

the mountain’s peak

Undead

Sitting at the bottom of the well,

Holding my breath,

Waiting to inhale life,

I slip into unconscious bliss,

Nirvana.

I scream with anguish,

As I awaken in the inferno.

The puppeteer is forcing me to dance.

I’m like a zombie,

Straddling two worlds,

Aching for rest,

But the show must go on.

I memorize my lines,

And get into wardrobe.

It’s an Oscar performance,

But why? How?

Can’t anyone see my sorrow?

Can’t anyone see through the smile?

The transparent, shallow façade,

To my existence?

Can’t anyone see me?

Don’t you hear my shouts for liberation?

Trapped in this cell?

Shackled by the beating of my own heart.

Ba boom, ba boom, ba boom

STOP!

Release my spirit.

Instead, I remain trapped.

Can’t you smell the stench,

From the rotting of my soul,

As the worms feast

On the remains of my dignity,

On the flesh of my righteousness?

Too much to be done.

No rest yet, UNDEAD,

Forced to linger on.

I have to complete my task.

The ground’s fertile for revolution.

The seeds must be sown

To reap the nation,

And I,

I am destined to toil in the struggle,

Dedicating every drop of blood that flows,

Until at last, there is no more

And I finally sleep.

Desire

Light radiates from you,

filling me with joy.

You are power,

strong and bold,

consuming my thoughts.

Take me into you,

into your heart.

For you, desire overwhelms.

Longing to taste your wine,

to touch your softness,

to bring passion to quake.

The Deep

Sometimes you dive into the deep, forgetting to look, logic kicks in but not before you find yourself drowning in a whirlpool of despair, regret, and shame.

You cling desperately to the mirage of dry land, thinking that if you just keep swimming you’ll be okay.

Eventually, you realize that there is no shore, no rescue, and your only exit is to drown, surrender life, and be reborn.

Loneliness

It’s times like this when the loneliness is so intense it’s as if there is a noose around my neck.

It cripples me with grief and makes even the simplest task seem like the most daunting feat.

Amazing how draining it can be too long to be held, too long to be kissed and caressed, and to be told that you are loved, that you are desired and needed.

Sitting in my room.

Staring at my ceiling.

Wondering if my life has meaning.

If tomorrow I didn’t wake.

If all that I am ceased to be.

Would there be anyone mourning me?

Breathlessly Pondering

Dear Lover,

When I’m with you, I feel as if I’m being slowly consumed by every touch. I lose myself, taken away to a plane slightly lower than nirvana. It’s as if my body is not real, as if it were merely a catalyst to transform your energy. 

As our lips touch, and I feel you move deep within me, I am absorbed. I take every breath desperately, for each seems like the last. If you only knew!  The words on this page are a sad attempt to testify to the passionate way you take over me. 

Fear is where the problem lies, fear of being caught in a rapture of bliss that I cannot control. I deeply want to block you out, to think of you as just another man, but I must say that is impossible! So now what, you have my attention? 

Breathless

Baggage

Screaming to shine

trapped in darkness,

unwilling to leave the past behind,

unable to nurture

the flowers waiting to bloom,

shackled by regret and gloom,

unaware that joy surrounds,

blinded by despair

and duty-bound!

Longing

Emptiness fills my heart.

I am without completion,

void of the loving embrace,

void of the gentle kiss.

The passion,

the pleasure,

that can on come from one who is true.

Where should I look? 

Does my mate exist?

Or, is it all a dream?

A fantasy?

An endless quest?

One who is strong,

one whose heart is warm,

whose mind is open not afraid

to question,

to be questioned 

not afraid to seek answers.

My one true desire, a partner for living

to share my mind

to share my spirit

to share my body.