Squad Goals: 5 Women Who Should Have Been in Suicide Squad

The sequel/redemption film for 2016’s Suicide Squad, also by the name of Suicide Squad was released on HBOMax a few weeks ago as part of HBO’s deal with DC to distribute their work through the streaming platform. While the cast of characters is definitely more fun and sillier than the darkness and grittiness of the first film, there were some people I wish had made the cut for this version.

I know that there exists a canon of supervillains that have cycled through the Suicide Squad repertoire: Harley Quinn, Captain Boomerang, King Shark, and my favorite wildcard Polka Dot Man, there were some people that I just wish that I had seen. All is not lost for me, though. When this film is inevitably remade again (and again, and again, and again), I’ll do whatever it takes to snatch up the directing rights so I can put it together with my own dream team. Here’s who I would include.

James Gunn tweeted a list of supervillains who did not make the final cut for this film and one of the names that stuck out to me was Livewire. As a character, she is so much fun to watch. As a woman with the power to control electricity, she has abilities that could make for some really cinematic scenes. I don’t think I’ve ever watched a breaker explode in an action movie and thought “Gosh, that was gratuitous and unfun to watch,” my thoughts go “Oooh, sparkly.” And as her name implies, she’s a little bit testy. Throwing someone with the power to stop and restart hearts who also gets annoyed easily into a mix of people who are more than a little bit difficult to be around would make for a very fun ensemble dynamic. If I had to guess, she wasn’t included in this film because most of it takes place in the muddy cuts of the jungle. Without much conductive material, there isn’t really a point to having her there.

Giganta

Giganta is exactly what she sounds like. She’s a really, really big woman. According to the rules of character-driven comedy, pairing a really tall person with some really short people can ensure that hilarity will ensue. DC already played with this on Harley Quinn: the Animated Series wherein they paired the enormous Giganta with Professor Psycho (to give you a sense of his size, just know that riding roller coasters at amusement parks is something he isn’t seen experiencing). From a purely aesthetic standpoint, it would be funny to see her next to her much smaller comrades.

Magpie

DC loves their jewel thieves, and so do I, but I wanted to venture a little bit further off the beaten path than Catwoman. After all, a job like this would probably be far below her. However, Magpie is obscure enough to need the PR from a gig like this. Magpie is a jewel thief, but she only steals gems named after birds. It’s a very random modus operandi, but it could provide some humor to break the tension of some covert espionage scenes. Imagine they’re trying to sneak through a group of enemy fighters and then— Oh dear! Someone is wearing a Flamingo Topaz bracelet that she just needs to have. And to their other side, a Bluebird ring! And just as they’re almost out, an enormous hunk of pure, unrefined Bird’s Eye Jasper. Classic Magpie!

Orca

There is already an aquatic humanoid on the team: King Shark. But his doofiness throws him into the role of “comedic relief because this is a movie” instead of an actual functioning member of the team. From a practical standpoint, they would be better served by someone they could banter with, who is also able to pull their weight in extreme cases. Luckily, there is another aquatic humanoid who is much more vicious and could throw out a funny quip every once in a while. Orca is, well, an Orca with legs and arms. Did you know that there are only around 10 shark attack deaths per year? Now Orca’s on the other hand… Well, there’s a reason they’re called killer whales.

Cheetah

I was one of the few people who knew who Kristen Wiig was when it was announced that she would be playing the role of Cheetah in Wonder Woman 1984. As a former cast member of Saturday Night Live and the writer and star of Bridesmaids, she was a bit of an odd choice for a superhero film. But the silly, manic energy of a comedy writer that she brought to Cheetah made her so compelling, much more than anyone else she shared the screen with. She is hilarious, she is talented, and half-cheetah, half-woman would be an amazing addition to the team.